wedding.r

oh saya dah tulis pasal wedding saya hari tu. gambar je belum ada lagi. :D
sabar ye blogblog. :)

Happy daddy's day!

Hey blog blog, I know its still a tad too early for father's day. Its 20th June btw but I suddenly got this urge to write about my dad.

Dad, I love you for holding my hands when I could barely walk.
I love you for giving us a roof, giving us food and supporting us endlessly when I know how hard it must be being a dad, looking out for so many people in the family,
I love you for covering me up from mama when I was in my rebellious years.
I love you for backing me up from mama when she lashes out at me for stupid reasons.
I love you for splurging money for us in so many ways.
I love you for paying for my studies even though I have disappointed you in many ways.
I love you looking so proud when I excelled in my studies.
I love you not giving me up on me when I failed my papers.
I love you when you stood by me when stupid boys hurt my heart.
I love you when you came back from work and hang out with us before calling it a day.
I love you when you try to come up with lame jokes to make us laugh.
I love you when you were the one to give me away during my wedding.
I love you when you still love me even though I failed you so many times.
I love you because you never bring up the topic of how I failed you miserably.
I love you when you call me princess.
I love you because I will be your only princess.
I love you because you are my father, the dearest, the wisest, the funniest, the most kind hearted person I have ever known.
And one day, I hope my husband could be the best father as you are.
I love you so much. Happy father’s day ayah.

FM.

blegh

I am really sleepy. But I can't seem to sleep heh.

Here comes the rambling post again.

Oh, I miss my friends. Like really. Not the ones that come and the go and then comes again. I mean the real honest ones that sticks with me no matter what. I miss the old times. I miss my husband. Do you know its like a different whole thing between missing a husband and missing a boyfriend? Meh.

Gah. My life is sooooo dull and mundane nowadays. Its like all I do is sleep and do stupid stupid daily routines.

Did not went to the gym, did not work, did not do anything. I don't think I have been functioning properly these last few days.

I hope Monday will be a better day.

rojak 1

I miss him. A LOT.

Corny lagi, but hello, I am allowed. He is my husband after all. :)

Anyway, today, like at the back like really really back of my head, I wondered what if I try to maintain the cafe and give it another go? Hm.

And oh, I went to the clinic and the doctor thought I was pregnant. Cute. Honestly, when it came out negative, I felt a little bit disappointed. And oh, I went there because I haven't been menstruating for four months!

The top 2 things I want to do this year is to pass all 3 papers, climb mount kinabalu and take up scuba diving. And, go to the gym regularly. It has been 3 months I think since I last went to the gym, and how I got hooked with that is another story all together. lol.

Good night lovers.

and he left.

Hey blogblog,

Last post was on February, and now its May. How time flies!

The last 3 months: Friends treat me for spa packages few weeks before the wedding yeay! Bought shoes! Hola came back for 3 days just for me and became my maid of honour. Had my solemnization at Shah Alam on Friday 19th March at around 4pm. Had my side of reception on the 20th at my house. Had his side of reception at KGPA on the 21st. All the friends that matters came. I love them to death!

Moved to our new house in Sunway on 23rd. Went for our honeymoon in Bali from the 27th to 3rd April (long I know!) Spent all weekends at both our parents house. We are basically like nomads.

In the midst of selling of the business for a very good price.

Today, he went away again. Sad. :(

Will retell allllll those things mentioned above. When I am bored.

Good night

what I want.

This month, another 34 days to my wedding I would like these:

1. A spa package. The whole shebang, massage, facial, lulur etc. I am tired to my core bones and I need this!

2. For the fiancee to at least be in the same wave length with me. I mean, I love him, very much. But its either the dais, or the meja beradab (which is in the package anyway). Not 2 people sitting on top of the stairs eating by themselves. Not my idea of wedding. Maybe his sister said its ok and all, but he is marrying me, not her. Its our wedding after all.

3. To lose weight. Will start rigorously this weekend.

4.To have Hola back soon.

5. To have some money to at least splurge on shoes and new lingerie

That is all for now.

38 days!

I am honestly tired. Extremely excruciatingly tired.

Only 38 days to go to my wedding and I am still like this, blergh.

I want to go for a spa, for my hen's nights, for a weekend vacay. Haigh.

Honestly, to this day, I still regret making this stupid decision. (no, not you my love)

Geez.

resolutions 2010

Its the 2nd day of 2010. How time flies kan?

Celebrated it with a simple dinner organized by Hola at Havana, Changkat. Amazingly, there were no traffic jams and going there was a breeze.

Close friends were there and that was all I needed.

This year, my resolutions are simple.

To spend more time with le familia, friends and fiancee. To be a better servant to the Him. To make more money. To travel more. To be fitter and exercise more. And lastly, to be a good wife.

InsyaAllah, at 25, I am much more matured and will try to be a better person as a whole.

Pray for me ok.

schedule 101

Yeay tomorrow boyfriend nak balik dah.

Here's the schedule haha:

Friday
12pm - pick him up at the airport
- check him in to the hotel
3pm - singgah Sambal sambal
6pm - ciao to have dinner
10pm - balik rumah

Saturday
10am - bangun
11am - siap go Razak's wedding at Shah Alam
2pm - go Rasta & Hartamas for the flea market with Hola Bola and le fiancee
(no plans in between)
8pm - dinner at HRC
11pm - lepak with le fiancee and friends

Sunday
10am - bangun
12pm - go to another wedding at Tabung Haji KJ
2pm - hantar le fiancee to his family's house

ok dah set dah.
can't wait for tomorrow!

recaps 2009

Ok, I am just bored right now.

Only 30 days to a new year. Time just whiz by in a flash kan?

I want to write about what I did this year but there just so many, so I'll write it by segments ok.

Travels

1. Hong Kong - went to Hong Kong for the annual family getaway in January. I went there once with Sue and Zam and being my second time, I was appointed as the unofficial travel guide. The last time I went there, it was KL-Macau-Hong Kong-Macau-KL because we took Air Asia and at that time there were no direct flight from KL to HK. This year it was KL-HK-Shenzen-HK-KL. Although the 2nd time there, there's still so much to enjoy and explore and I had loads of fun!

2. Bandung - went to Bandung with Ma in February (I think!) as at first it was supposed to be Sue and I yearly's getaway but she had to go to UK and so I was left with no one. Luckily mom offered to replace her. She paid for her own tickets but because my ticket was an economy promo ticket, I had to purchase a new one.

In Bandung was when I told her about my engagement plan. She went crazy and bought tonnes of laces there. We went to the spa and spent a whole day there, went shopping, and there's this one time I really wanted to try the street food of Bandung and persuaded her to accompany me and it was so sweet of her to oblige! (she's a hygiene freak on food and would rather pee in her pants rather than pee in a dirty toilet! you get what I mean. haha) As I wanted to save cost (since she's not even paying for my hotel), we rode the angkutan to and fro the shopping and spa areas. Comel gila. Should have taken a picture of us! in one of those thing!

3. Singapore - Went to Singapore to meet the bf in January (I think!), since he was working there at that time. Spent a night there and that trip made me realize how far I would go for him and how much I love him.

4. Perhentian - Went there with le bf in June with J*ohn and M*el. It was super fun!

We actually canoed from an island to another island. I couldn't bear to be in the canoe any longer because I was tired and it was scorching hot I basically jumped out from the canoe from like 100 metres away from the shore! It was super tiring but it was the ultimate fun.

Academic

1. I am currently taking CIMA (Chartered Institute of Management Accounting) in a hope for a better future. Classes started on July and I went for most of them, although it was freaking far. Sat for the exams last 29th and hope that I could pass at least one of the papers. (CIMA Malaysia has only 23% passing rates!)

Financial

1. Bought a car. Regretted it, since dad has one extra car unused. But I am glad I have something to my name.

2. Bought a baby, with my best friend of 9 years. Emptied my savings. Its really like a baby, you know, the love hate relationship you would have with your own baby haaa like that lah! The business has been in the reds for the past 6 months but its getting a bit better nowadays. Luckily I have the bf for financial support and I owe him my life for all he did for me. Seriously. Without him, I don't know what would happen. I hope it would make some money and may it be successful.

Relationships

1. I got engaged last August to someone awesome. After all the years of searching (well, not literally lah) I have finally found my soul mate. Someone that could accept me for the way I am. I love him to death.

2. Lost few friends (3 of them, actually!) because of some stupid stupid misunderstanding. Well, friends like that, they would just come and go. I need to bear in mind to be nicer to my existing friends.

Hm.

I think that's just about what happened this year in my life. I will update if anything crosses my mind lagi.

pure seduction!

Damn it.

I miss bau Pure Seduction VS and so I cari-cari la kat internet.

Found the official website and tengok pricing dia, its only $35 for 8 freaking bottles, compared to here, jual RM50 satu botol. Bodoh. $35 is like RM120 je kot, dapat 8 botol. bodoh bodoh. haha.

The shipping costs around $30. So if I beli, it'll cost around $75 = RM 240 for 8 bottles!

TAPI

Dia ship to major international countries ie SINGAPORE, BUT NOT MALAYSIA!

FTW!

Bodoh bodoh.

Geram Geram!

8.5 oz. #246-922 $9. Special 3/$24, 5/$30 or 8/$35.

Maldives

AH IT'S SO PRETTY I WANT TO GO HERE!

So Dear friends,

I really, really want to go here for my honeymoon.

It costs around RM5-6k per couple.

Thanks.

Hanah.

k-ching.

Exam dah habis and now I don't know what to do malam-malam. Boleh tak?

Bila nak dekat exam, tak habis-habis complain asyik kena belajar, pening lah, apa lah.

Now rasa tak kena pula tak pegang buku. Haha.

Now that the exam's over I want to enjoy books and music. And perhaps a movie.

There's this one book that just came out from my very very favourite author, Anchee Min. She writes awesome semi-fictional autobiography of Chinese Emperors, Chinese Concubines and I don't know what this new book is all about but I am sure its awesome.

My last Richard Branson's autobiography book went dusty because its not as colourful as Sassoon's and Anchee Min's writing.

I want to buy several CDs like Mika's new album, Boyz II men cover love songs (yes they basically cover all the very famous love song!), Michael Buble's. Tapi I am broke to the max. Wanted to ask my brothers to burn some CDs for me, but they were only home for 2 days and all the 3 laptops here takde Nero. Great kan?

I am seriously broke. The only luxury I could afford this month was a RM30 foot massage I had with Wanwan and Fuad and the dinner at Curve with the Diva. I could use some money for threading, some new shoes and a pair of jeans because fuck now that I am fat, I could only fit in 1 jeans.

I am sad I am broke. Serious. Please, anyone anonymous baik hati, please bank in duit sikit. Haha. Tough luck baby!

I am so going to find a job, the earliest on June and hire a manager to manage the restaurant. I want to save money, I want to buy things whenever I want without feeling guilty, using my OWN money. And so, lantaklah I am so going to find a proper job.

Where did all the money went eh? Hm. It went to the installment of my car, the fiancée's car (he banked it in to my account but I had to use it the other day and so I had to fork up balik to ganti.), my dentist appointments etc.

I am feeling so down nowadays. I feel like there's a huge storm coming up my way.

I don't know why I am feeling this way, but perhaps because everything did not turn up the way its supposed to be.

Well, at least my exams are over and HolaBola will be back this Saturday (with no money and that'll make us both broke!) haha.

And hopefully fiancée will be back as well, coz seriously I am pissed at how things turned but I love him and miss him very much nevertheless.

Any ideas on how to make money?

no stars.

Hi blogblog,

Oh my God I am so sleepy. I want to sleep but there's still so many things to study.
And oh, I am on the laptop because all the past years answers are in here and I need to take a 5 min break coz I am just too sleepy.

There's still variances, ratios, formulas, to learn and serap dalam otak. And I know, I know study last minute tak bagus, but this time around, I studied early like 1.5 months ago pun still tak ok lagi. Gosh.

Please please make it easy for tomorrow ok.

And hm, fiancee is still not home. And this time I am mad at him. Serious.
He better make it up good.

I think I wanna have a shower before I resume my studies.
Catcha later!

bhw400

Ok ok I know I should study la blogblog tapi I have studied the whole night yesterday (12am to 5am) and wake up at 12pm, study again until 6pm. hah.

So I deserve a break.

I feel like checking my yahoo account, just saja-saja and I saw like there's several notification from xanga, my old diary.

I thought I have deleted the whole thing, but it's still there and suprisingly, there's still footprints on it! (note: footprints tu macam notification yang bagitahu someone still reads that crap)

I mean, not just 1 but 5 anonymous footprints! Spooky, siapa lah yang masih stalk saya.

Since I dah terbukak that old thingy, I read through it, and man how my life has changed.
I wrote mostly about my breakup with that fucking guy (banyak gila pulak tu! haha), studies and how I sucked at it, my relationship with friends etc. And suffice to say, I wrote it very nicely, unlike sekarang, main tuuuuulis je. haha.

I miss pouring my heart like that, by writing. :)

After reading all that, I am glad, really glad that I am so over the fucking guy, I am glad there are still friends from that era that still sticks with me through thick and thin, I am glad that I have grown wiser and mostly I am glad I have that bitter sweet kind of memories.

Wanted to write more, but nowadays words don't come easy.

I promise a very long long vain entry after exams ok.

And oh, wish me luck blogblog. I need to nail this!

come fly me

Tunang saya tak balik lagi. Geram ok. Dahlah nak dekat exams.
Tapi tawakal je lah. Dah kerja dia macam tu.
I can't wait for him to be home.
Geram rasa nak picit hidung dia lama-lama!

Banyak benda nak buat ok. Geram gilaaaa!

Ok dah, nak belajar.

october rain

I had a good week. I mean not thhaaaaat good. But it wasn't nerve wrecking as usual.

Today, although I slept really late last night, I woke up reallly early for some grant-thingy and then I went to the dentist and waited for a good 2 hours before it was my turn to be called. Then went back home and slept the whole evening.

Woke up with a very hungry tummy and asked the boys to accompany me for dinner but only Kudim Kudamn was available and so he teman-ed me. Its good to have a heart to heart talk with your guy friend and make them open up to you things that they usually don't talk among themselves.

Fiancée has been away for a week and I got to talk to him yesterday only for him to leave today. Sedih. But the good news is, he's coming back next week! yeay. I can't wait! I miss him very much. And as the times goes, it made me realize even more that he is the perfect one for me. For one, never has a guy succeeded in making me so loyal and not wanting to know/get to know other guys. Get what I mean? And then, for once I could be frank to someone and be myself, but better. Haha. Faham? Whatever it is, I love him and I hope it would stay this way for a very long time.

On wedding thingy. Everybody wants to take part in my wedding. So I guess I am stuck with 2 bridesmaids and 3 maids of honor. It was so sweet of them to have offered themselves to help me. I may not be blessed with many many girlfriends (I think my guy friends outnumbered the girls) but I am blessed by really really special and great ones! So bridesmaids- Hola Bola & Ain, maid of honors - Hid, Nana, Zehan.

Ok lah, I need to go study as I have only 17 days left for my exams. Haiya!

down in here

Sometimes I feel like there's just this huge knot in my gutt. Waiting to explode.
There's just so many things to do, yet so little time. And it does not help that I have this stupid stupid procrastinate attitude in me. I need to change. I just have to.

I feel so weak. This is not me. I bounce back everytime I am down but this time I feel like I just want to curl down there. I need to bounce back. Gah.

God, please give me the strength to survive each and every day here.

wedding woes

Soooo many things to think about for this upcoming thingy:

1. When is the most appropriate time to send out invitation cards?

2. Dia taknak sanding (at his place), ok lah. But he's not interested in buat makan beradab also. How la kan? I don't quite mind because its just tradition's sake but doing neither? That's a bit hmmm tak kena? So I should just walk in at his place and start socializing with his side of family?

3. I tak sabar nak khawin.

4. I explained to him that doing his side of makan-makan in a hall (for his side) would be a bittttt cheaper than doing it at his house. (due to extra cost of canopy, house decorations, cost of cleaning etc) but he is so adamant because he says that since I will be doing it at my house, he is going to do it at his as well. Katanya macam lain if I buat kat rumah dia buat kat dewan. Ramaaaaai je buat macam tu okay. Kadang-kadang girl buat kat hotel, lelaki buat kat rumah vice versa. Tapi he's hard-headed haha so biar je lah. Malas nak argue.

5. He is super hard-headed. Tapi baguslah, it compliments my trait yang gila indecisive. Kalau dah nak satu benda, tuuuu jelah yang dia nak. He wouldn't budge UNTIL I either thoroughly explain everything to him with facts and evidence or I would just buat-buat nangis haha. (Dah lari topik kahwin dah ni!)

6. My mum cakap since I dah dapat a nice ring for my engagement, I should ask for a necklace instead (within the same budget) for batal air sembahyang, tapi I want a ring lagi. I want to wear two rings at the same finger, boleh? Tapi see how lah, a necklace wouldn't harm pun.

7. I want to use fresh flowers for our hantaran please. I don't demand much, but yes fresh flowers thank you.

8. It's not wrong to do the decos for his side of hantarans right? Aunty Mala dah offer dah, so ok lah kan?

9. I can't wait to go to Singapore to start shopping. weeeee.

10. I love him very much and I can't can't wait to start spending the rest of my life with him.

thursday madness

Dear God,

Please give me the strength to live each day of my life. Please give me guidance to show me which road I should take, and please be there along every step of the way.

I know I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but it's only because I've been lost for the longest time... and I've never truly been found.

Everyday I want so much to be able to find the meaning of everything, and to understand the one true reason to why I'm standing here. I want so much to understand every layer of how I've come to become who I am, and to finally feel contention within myself.

I know I've hurt many along the way, but it's only because I've been hurt too many times myself. There are many situations that I fail to grasp, and sometimes I stumble and selfishly hurt the people that don't deserve it.

Right now it feels like I'm failing again, and I need so much for a hand to hold, to prop me up along the way. Yet I know that people come and go and ultimately, we arrive and we leave this world alone. You've given me amazing people that have accompanied me throughout the journey, but you've also taken them away from me when I wasn't ready to let them go.

I've tried to hold on to a special few but even they seem to be falling from my grasp lately. I guess it's true what they say... the tighter you hold, the easier things shatter and break, and everything seems to be breaking right now, and I'm hurting myself in picking up the pieces.I'm not content where I am, yet I'm not sure where I really want to be.