pre-wedding anxiety.

I am getting married in less than 2 months and although it may seem like a fairy tale ending for me, I am actually quite sad. Because I can't imagine the thoughts of having to leave my parents' house, for good.

Sometimes I cry in bed thinking how would my life be after this. No. Not that I am scared to face any hardships with him, not that I am ungrateful for the blessings He gave me, the wonderful person He brought in my life, the friends He gave me to brighten up my days. But I just don't know how to explain what I am feeling in words.

When I was 18, I can't wait to get out from the house because well, who doesn't. But now, only few days left, I can't wait to actually be home early and spend more time with them.

Sick. I know.

*sigh*

I am broke but I am cannot admit it to anyone. I have that much pride in me. And I don't want to burden anyone.

I have not paid my car and maybe within 18 days, kena tarik. Heh.

I am currently looking at jobstreet to find a job. A real job.

I need it real soon.

I have so much headache in me. I don't know which one I should prioritize first with so many things going on. The kedai, whether to continue cima this semester or not, the wedding preparations, the loans, debts. Argh.

If only I have the nerve to ask from my parents. If only lah kan.

Will need to minta Hola duit tomorrow to pay the car.

*sigh*

resolutions 2010

Its the 2nd day of 2010. How time flies kan?

Celebrated it with a simple dinner organized by Hola at Havana, Changkat. Amazingly, there were no traffic jams and going there was a breeze.

Close friends were there and that was all I needed.

This year, my resolutions are simple.

To spend more time with le familia, friends and fiancee. To be a better servant to the Him. To make more money. To travel more. To be fitter and exercise more. And lastly, to be a good wife.

InsyaAllah, at 25, I am much more matured and will try to be a better person as a whole.

Pray for me ok.