thursday madness

Dear God,

Please give me the strength to live each day of my life. Please give me guidance to show me which road I should take, and please be there along every step of the way.

I know I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but it's only because I've been lost for the longest time... and I've never truly been found.

Everyday I want so much to be able to find the meaning of everything, and to understand the one true reason to why I'm standing here. I want so much to understand every layer of how I've come to become who I am, and to finally feel contention within myself.

I know I've hurt many along the way, but it's only because I've been hurt too many times myself. There are many situations that I fail to grasp, and sometimes I stumble and selfishly hurt the people that don't deserve it.

Right now it feels like I'm failing again, and I need so much for a hand to hold, to prop me up along the way. Yet I know that people come and go and ultimately, we arrive and we leave this world alone. You've given me amazing people that have accompanied me throughout the journey, but you've also taken them away from me when I wasn't ready to let them go.

I've tried to hold on to a special few but even they seem to be falling from my grasp lately. I guess it's true what they say... the tighter you hold, the easier things shatter and break, and everything seems to be breaking right now, and I'm hurting myself in picking up the pieces.I'm not content where I am, yet I'm not sure where I really want to be.