massive black hole

I don't know what I am feeling right now.

I really don't know what to write.

I am just bored beyond imagination.

I miss my fiancee, I miss my friends, I miss just being me.

I wouldn't be long till depression kicks in. Heh.

there he goes again

When a friend told me she can't stop crying that her boyfriend who was once my very good friend (I introduced both of them ok) will be going to Riyadh for six months I silently wondered, 'kenapa aku tak nangis masa my own tunang pun going away?'

Tak sedih ke? Sedih sangat-sangat. I can't imagine not having him around, not yet. But the glimpse of thoughts of not having him around is excruciating. Alone pergi pasar, alone at the shop, alone watching movie, alone having dinner, alone running errands. sigh.

Its not like I am not used to not having him around. He went away for work for 3 months last 3 months but this time its different because the last time, I've got few bodyguards (our mutual friends) to take care of me, accompany me, look out for me, but since the whole dramamama unfold, we kind of broke apart.

This time I am definitely alone.

Oh, back to the point that the friend cried and I did not. Does that show that I am a strong girl, or am I feelingless?

Ah, esok je lah nangis. Heh.

going away.

He is going off again this Wednesday. And he only got to know it today.

I am sad.
I am going to miss him.
I love him.

Here goes the 100 days countdown again.

I am thirsty, cranky but happy.

Well hello blogblog. 

Here we go with the numerical updates again;

1. I got engaged last Saturday. Yeay. 1 Aug 2009. Tapi today (5 Aug 2009) I think I misplaced the ring. How fucked up can that be. I woke up without the ring on my finger and because Hola was waiting downstairs for me, I couldn't look for it thoroughly. Damn it. I hope its still in my room. Please please please let it be in the room. 

2. About the ring. The fiancee bought me a sweet simple ring. Because with the environment I work in, the ring has to be as practical as a knife. -If you know what I mean. But because his mom thinks its too small - the bling, she replaced it with another ring. After 2 days only did we realize it was not the same ring he bought for me. And the best thing is, I love the new ring! Haha. I mean I loved the old ring but this one is nicerrrr.

3. Fuck its soooo hot here in this shop. Random.

4. Uncles and aunties were so helpful. They came, gubah the hantaran, cooked, mingled etc. Basically they did all the dirty hard work. It was so sweet of them. I am glad and blessed to have families like them.

5. Friends, and I mean real friends came. And that is all that matters. I don't need hundreds of friends to come to the thingy only to be happy with few of them. 

6. My 1st CIMA class starts this Sunday. And shit its going to be a 6 hours class with 1 hour break in between. I hate it ok.

Oh pictures, malaslah. Siapa nak tengok, go tengok facebook. heh.

p/s: I love you even more now.

p/p/s: Hola's going back to OZ soon. :(