brothers & sisters

Boyfriend will be back in 7 days. Yeeaay!
I can't wait to start planning mm you know what lah. (I don't wanna jinx it.)
I miss him like gila okay. I got to talk to him for only 2 days and there he goes again. He would be uncontactable for 7 freaking days.

I am glad we're still as strong as ever.

****

My uncle went for a bypass the other day, and it freaked me out knowing my own uncle, someone I last met 2 months ago is still in the ICU after the surgery. I looked at my dad's wrinkly face and smile, feeling blessed because he is still infront of me, healthy, just healthy and happy.

The other he called me and ask me whether I would be home in time for dinner since my brother just got back from JB and he wants us to have dinner together. I ask them to go on without me because I don't want them to wait, just in case. But infront of Concorde I called him and luckily all of them are still in the kedai makan and so I joined them.
The minute I sat down, my mum said 'Dah lama tak makan sama-sama kan. I am so happy tonight.' She looked at my dad and nudged him and he said 'Tu lah. Dah lama tak macam ni. Lega tengok semua dah besar. And kaklong tak buat hal.'
Heh. Coming from a man with literally very few words, I smiled. Happy.

Then came questions from me such as 'ayah ada sakit jantung tak, jantung ayah sakit tak, high blood pressure ok tak, kenapa tak makan banyak-banyak, kerja penat tak.' He would usually disregard my questions because he thinks I am annoying that way, but that night he answered it patiently knowing his answers matters to me this time.

I can't imagine losing him. I don't want to imagine losing him. Losing them.

To Arina, I hope ayah ngah gets better soon.

****

It made me feel good when I paid the workers their salary the other day. But effing shit when I had to borrow some people money and had to hold some of the staffs' salary because I just can't afford to pay them yet.
Lucky we have that 7 day of the month maximum day labour law!

I wanted to buy my mom, my dad and my brother something. But it felt shitty when I hold that money in my hand contemplating on whether to spend it on my family or save it to buy stocks for tomorrow.
InsyaAllah I will prove to them one day that all this hardwork, my hardwork, is all worth it.

Now I am contemplating on staying up till 2am to watch lipstick jungle or to sleep because I have to wake up at 530am tomorrow. Heh.
Decisions decisions.