Day 16

In the office.

I don't know how to express how I feel at this moment. Its all mixed up.
I miss him very much, and we talk almost everyday but his touch, his smile has somehow faded in my mind. I feel like I am losing him, in a way and honestly I am scared.

And then there's this juggling everything by myself feeling. With this stupid job I don't seem to like because its just to hectic and PR-esque and honestly I don't like to deal with people, go to the boardroom and present and end up with some measly pay which I don't think is worth it. With the 2 classes that I have to go every Monday and Friday after work (my class starts at 630 and ends at 930 and I work from 9-6.). With this registration of enterprise, trading license thingy, deco, find cook, find workers thingy that I have to manage on my own (and some friends). With the application of loan for my own 1st car. Gosh, I wake up everyday thinking that I should not have burdened myself with this kinda trouble but well, that's life and hopefully I could cope with it. I just wish he was here to help me go through all this. I wake up everyday hoping to have that extra 5 minutes sleep.

****

Aku tak sampai hati nak cakap kat dia yang aku letih sangat to talk to him for an hour every night before aku tidur. But honestly, I need that extra hour to sleep and to the people yang kenal aku, sleep to me is precious.

:(